Despite the misery

of Valentines and Love

2011-02-09T06:24:00.000-08:00

adapted from http://ladyofparadise.tumblr.com/

On this day {14 Feb} that the world celebrates love and we see hearts all around, we see hearts of all sizes and shapes all around, hearts of chocolate and satin. O Yes! It’s Valentines! The day of hearts, red roses, poetry, candies and above all - Love!

Ask yourself :
“Have I ever thought of loving the One Who created me, the One Who gave me a heart that can feel love? Has this heart ever felt love for Him? How many times have I cried for His love?

Have I ever spent any time, effort or money to express my love to Him Who has given me all these things? Am I confident enough to declare my love for Him? Do I ever miss Him in solitude or amongst a crowd? Or am I wasting away a beautiful emotion that was meant for eternity-not just momentary gratification of our ego? Inspite of our ingratitude, The Merciful One continues to love us.

Ask yourself, How much do I love Prophet Mohammad who had said: “By Him in Whose Hands my life is, none of you will have faith till he loves me more than his father and his children and all mankind” (Bukhari).

We don’t have to rejoice ‘their’ occasion just to blend in with them, but let them rejoice our holy celebration like the two Eids. How’s that?

Love can’t be bought in store. The Love that we need the most is from Allah swt, he is Ar-Rahman, Ar-Rahim and HIS lover, our Muhammad Ya Nabeena.

As-salam,
Jameelah

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Don't you find this funny?

2009-12-19T10:40:00.001-08:00

I do. Hahahahaha.

Cats are just so adorable.

Unsatisfied of the holidays

2009-12-19T08:20:00.000-08:00

Recently, I was extremely not up to going online. I couldn't find anything useful to do. When I started doing exercises and homeworks, it was only consistent for the first few days or maximum only one week. Then I'll start getting bored. That's when I grabbed my Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows which I finished reading (for the third time) in 3 days and now I'm currently reading Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince (for the fourth time since it was bought).

Oh, I'd also FINALLY got myself to work on this Chemistry folio on Chapter 9 - Manufactured Substances in Industry. But instead of doing only one subtopic, I did two.

Last Sunday I went to Dayana's house for a small birthday celebration; with a super cool birthday cake. Man, the cake was AMAZING. If you don't consider how SWEET the icing was, that is. But I'm really not complaining. I had a good time seeing Dayana, Nadira, Emina and Nabilah. I miss them <3.
Anyways, I managed to borrow Eclipse from Dayana. The last time I read Twilight was May last year and New Moon some time after PMR. I didn't continue reading Eclipse straight away because I didn't want to be in the group of all the Twilight Fever people and OCD (Obsessive Cullen Disorder). So I didn't read it and tried to get a life. What made me lend Eclipse from Dayana is because I just want to fill my empty times at home. I've been trying to read it but I just can't. I couldn't get myself to be interested and anxious as I was last year when reading Twilight and New Moon. Plus the fact that I'm a bit sick of "ohhh, Eddddwaaaardddd, bite me, I wanna be a vampire, i love youuu" kinda thing going on while Twilight Saga: New Moon was showing. Which actually just make me dislike Twilight and all its saga. Hmmm.. let's just say I'm a loyal fan of JK Rowling. That should do it.
That concludes, I'm not into Twilight. Thank you :)
I haven't even watch the movie and I don't think I want to watch it. I've heard enough people criticizing how the movie was and how Kirsten Stewart really doesn't play well as Bella Swan (no offense there).

PARENTS ARE COMING HOME THIS TUESDAY WOOOHOOOO! :D :D That will certainly light up my empty holidays for the past 4 weeks.

School. Crap. I'm gonna be 17 next year. SPM. Time is flying so fast. SLOW DOWN, DUDE! yeahh, I should have appreciate the time.

I hope, in 2010, I shall take things easily, not rush and use time as wise as I can.

I hope you'll do the same thing to :)

And, Salam Maal Hijrah to all Muslims out there. Better late than never ;)

Nighteous people

What doesn't kill you make you stronger

2009-12-19T08:02:00.000-08:00

It's been quite a while since I really post something. Well, I'm not in a really good condition and I was trying to get some time for studies. Didn't work much though, sadly.

I copied this from my other blog. It was posted on November 20th 2008.

Guess what. I didn't go online much from morning til now. You know why? Easy. NO MOOD. I didn't feel like logging on to blogger. Well, I did, but the next minute, I logged out and played solitaire. I don't have any idea on how to actually face whatever that's bugging me now. Okay, it's not a "whatever" exactly, because it matters a lot to me. UGGHH.

Back to the topic. This is what I thought of doing while being in the condition of "controlling myself".

1) I'm scared of being in a car [either driving or just being the passenger] when it's raining heavily, especially with storms or lightning, either. I always think what if the car suddenly got uncontrolled and got into an accident? Sometimes, I kind of wish I got hurt in the accident. But I hope so much that anyone [no matter who it is] that was in the car with me, is/are totally safe. I just want me to be the victim. But of course, I'm scared.

2) Being in a to-be collapsed building. You wouldn't know when it's coming..

3) In the car, going uphill or downhill. Like on the way to Genting Highlands. I could throw up anytime. I know, ewww disgusting, bla bla bla.

4) I actually develop fear of heights. But somehow I get over it easily. Only, I always imagine me falling down from there. Even at school, only from the 3rd floor, I imagine what if I were to jump off.

5) I'm scared of cockroaches. Well, not like those girls screaming type of scare. A scare that no one actually notice. I might seem like I don't care about the presence of cockroaches, but I usually imagine what if I touch them. It's kind of dirty. Maybe I'm not scared of them, but I really dislike them.

6) Okay, this one is a fear. Being humiliated. In front of people. Or like, getting last place at something. Embarrassed to be exact. Although it's just to only one person. Either you tell him/her your secret, you let out your tears to them or even if your being nice to them. I don't know why, but I just feel them. Oh oh, and also guilt. I'd always say sorry. And sometime I feel ashamed because I said sorry. Yes, I'm just weird. But hey, at least I know myself. I live with it, and I try to upgrade. The only thing that I'm sad about is, no one seems to notice. No one. I am worthless.

7) When I lost something. Anything. Anyone. I hate it when I get disappointed. Worse, I have to face them alone. All night thinking, pressuring myself, looking back at times, getting my pillow wet, imagining something better happens but at the same time making myself more hopeless. I've been facing them a lot. But I know it's worthless letting someone know. So what I do is act fine to people. My parents especially. I wish someone understands me. I wish the angels can let someone know I'm in need. I wish someone does know I'm in need.

8) When my hopes are hopeless. Me being myself without any influence on anything, I still hope a lot. And I tend to think how to achieve it. Making me more hopeful. But when the idea doesn't work, suddenly I'm hopeless. I hate it. I hate my hopeless hopes.

9) I'm scared of street guys. Like the rempits or any pendatang asing from Indonesia or somewhere. Those menggatal ones, I feel like throwing them anything that's near me. My shoe would do. Oh, no, not my shoe. A plastic bottle would do. Or just scream.

10) Being attacked by animal. Actually, I don't mind being scratched by a cat or any animals. I just don't want to be attacked. Especially if dogs were chasing me. Bad memories.

11) Riding on motorcycles. Seriously, I WOULDN'T. If possible I don't want to let my loved ones to even TRY sitting on it. It's scaaryy.. I mean, what if suddenly you slipped. You see, when I was a kid, I fell down from it before. And I don't want it to happen again.

12) I'm scared of drowning. Me being an allegedly professional swimmer (haha) has taken scuba lessons before. We trained in this 4m deep pool, with of course high pressure to the body even if it's just 4m deep. I can hold breath til about 1min plus but sometimes I'm afraid, what if someone suddenly push my head inside the pool to drown me? Or what if I were to swim so deep into the water but I can't reach up in time? I always challenge myself in something (either for self satisfactory or an upgrade) and try to do the best but I never want to know my limit. Which leads to me being underwater too long and maybe can't reach up for air in time. Syaza, syaza....

13) Being eaten alive. Tigers, sharks and those sorts of carnivorous animals. Eaten or bitten, it still includes the act of sharp teeth. Ouch.

14) Knife. You know the blades of knives, sometimes I purposely put my finger there (testing the sharpness?) and surprisingly suddenly cut myself. I think it happened three times this year. I can't remember. But when I hold the knife, I imagine, what if i slipped it and it got into my foot? Or I suddenly stabbed myself? Worse, what if I stabbed someone? It really scares me. I wouldn't want to allow anyone playing with knives. I'll make sure my house has this special place for knives and other cutlery so that the kids won't simply reach it.

15) Being alone at night. Even if there's another person or doesn't matter how many, I just always feel.. urmm..lonely. I need something to hold on. Pillow would do. Seriously, I can't sleep without holding something. I would even pull the blanket off me just to hold it.

I'm kind of running out of ideas. But I know there's a lot more.. I'll stop here first. Goodnight people.

Toodles.

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Yeah, that was the post.

Attn

2009-11-22T20:10:00.000-08:00

To SABDArians,

Pictures during Majlis Watikah Perlantikan Pengawas 2009/2010 can be found on Facebook

Thank you.

Former school

2009-11-19T04:32:00.000-08:00

I've found it!

SERI SEMI ABIM

I used to go here. Apparently, my former English teacher is now the Principal. A lot of things changed. They even transformed the whole canteen section into a totally new different block.

A Wish

2009-09-17T22:09:00.000-07:00

No, not a big wish like "I wish a prince would come and rescue me and we will live happily ever after" thing.

Like everyone else is doing now, I'm taking the chance to wish all Muslims out there a very Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri.

To all family members, friends, acquaintances, shoppers, passers by, etc etc, I would like to apologize for every single wrong thing I did. Regardless in what form; either by words, actions, face expression or just about anything I do.

I hope this Ramadhan has given us a chance to take the opportunity of changing ourselves into a better person besides realizing how small we are.

In welcoming Syawal, let's not be too excited about it. It is sad that Ramadhan is passing us and InsyaAllah will come again in a year. That is, if we still have the chance to live.

Again, Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri, Maaf Zahir dan Batin.

Back to school later

2009-09-12T22:22:00.000-07:00

I'm in boarding school. Sekolah Menengah Sains Bagan Datoh (SABDA) to be exct, in Perak.
This morning I baked cupcakes which Dini, Aainaa and Aizat came over around 12pm just now. It was cool to have them hanging around outside my house (: And later, I'm going to drop by at Dayana's house to pick up Sejarah notes.

Friday night, I talked to her (Dayana) for a very long period on the phone. Last time I met her was like on 12th June, when I invited people over for a treat.
Oh oh! I'm free from braces already! :D but I'm having retainers.

I gotta go, so I'll drop by next week (:

To start

2009-09-06T20:27:00.001-07:00

Alright, this is like my, what, 3rd or 4th public blog? The old ones have been deleted and recreated then deleted again. I'm hoping this one would stay. As long as I don't mess up though.

Different from Two's A Company, Three's A crowd (which is actually since 2007) I'll put more rational posts in this one. And put it for the public to see too instead of private. This is where I'll just be random at a point or letting out expression on the other.

Why is this public instead of private?
Okay, first, I'm not going to post anything personal. Second, I want people [specifically Dayana] to be able to access my blog.Thirdly, I want to be able to have readers and followers and comments on what I post. It's quite cool. Like how I always comment on Alud's and Dini's blog. Fourth, now that I'm n SMS Bagan Datoh and not in SMK Bukit Jelutong anymore, I could actually let people know that I'm still alive, as in be in contact or get updated to me.

One thing I hope is that this one person wouldn't disagree with me having this blog. Because if he did disagree, then I would have to delete it. Again. So I better not mess up and prove that I'm not insecure anymore. At least, not in a personal matter.

Thank you.